My Homeschool Story

I became a Christian in June 1981, after 30 years of being an atheist. Because I was raised in a home where religion was not talked about or practiced and a public school where I was taught evolution, I wanted to make sure my kids were taught the truth about God so they would not go through the problems that I had prior to my conversion. So that fall, we enrolled our son, Wil, in PreK-4 at a Christian school that used A Beka curriculum. (At that time, we thought preschool was essential.)

Wil is a Visual/Kinethetic learner with a very sensitive spirit. My daughter, Shelly, is a Read/Write learner and very strong-willed (like her mom!). Wil fell behind in PreK but managed to pass on to Kindergarten. The next year, we enrolled Shelly in PreK and Wil in Kindergarten at the same school. While Shelly flourished, Wil spent the next few months crying. He couldn't do the work; the kids recognized his tender spirit and picked on him, and the teacher was unsympathetic. She told us that he would flunk Kindergarten. When we asked why he wasn't learning, her answer was that perhaps we had family problems that needed addressing or maybe Wil needed psychological counseling. In those days, they didn't have labels such as LD, ADD, etc, so these were the common causes of learning failure - it was certainly not the school's fault or the teaching methods and no one thought about learning styles.

In the meantime, my husband, Bill, and I started praying and asking God what to do. We knew we weren't the perfect family. We had problems and stresses. The kids misbehaved and we struggled with the right kind of punishment, but we knew that our son was intelligent. He showed it in so many other ways at home. During this time of seeking God on what to do, we “happened” to watch a TV show that featured Dr. Raymond Moore discussing home schooling. We had never heard of such a thing, so I immediately wrote off for his book, Home Grown Kids.

As I read the book, I discovered one chapter that described our son exactly. The Moore's had done significant research that demonstrated that kids mature at different rates. Some are delayed in the ability to read, write and do arithmetic because of delayed vision development and small-motor coordination. Examples, such as Thomas Edison, proved that these delayed learners are not “dumb,” but often times extremely intelligent. Formal schoolwork for these children is more effective if it is delayed until they are 8 - 9 years old. That gave me hope! Maybe that was the reason for the problem!

After much prayer, and against the advice of my parents and even our new church family, we made the commitment to home school for the rest of the year, just until Wil learned to read. It was not legalized in Delaware at the time so we decided to remain “undercover.” We had not previously registered with the public schools, so we felt safe as long as we didn't go outside during school hours. But that was ok as we had lots to do!

We pulled the kids out of the Christian school and began. Since we didn't know anyone who home schooled, we decided to use the A Beka curriculum we had from the school. All we had were the readers and workbooks - no teacher's manuals or answer keys.

By summer, I realized that A Beka was not working for us either. So, we committed to another year of home school. I sent off for the Moore's Seventh Day Adventist Curriculum which included revised versions of the old Dick and Jane readers (hamburgers were now soy burgers, etc.), and I set up the dining room into an “official school room” complete with school bell, black board and desk. I was ready to begin!

It wasn't' long before we hit our next road block. My son enjoyed listening to the Dick and Jane readers but couldn't read. The phonics worksheets didn't work. Handwriting was five minutes of sheer terror. Forget arithmetic. Although Shelly seemed to teach herself to read and loved school, she pushed me with her strong-willed disposition. Tears flowed and tempers flared. (This is when God taught me how to control my anger. Every time I felt anger coming on, I excused myself, went up to my bedroom, and prayed until I was under control. Only then did I go back down and take whatever action was needed. See, good things come out of home schooling! God trains us as we are training our children.)

My friends and family kept telling us that we were ruining our children and I was tempted to believe it. But I kept feeling like God wanted me to continue. In desperation one day, I called the phone number in the back of the Home Grown Kids book and who answered? Dorothy Moore, herself! Isn't God good! After crying to her and explaining my situation, she said, “Cindy, put away those textbooks and just enjoy your children. Read to them. Do art and science projects with them. Take nature walks.”

We spent the rest of that year doing just that. I tore down the school room. Instead, we read together on the sofa or in the kitchen or at the park. We visited museums, did art projects, volunteered in church, experimented with science projects, and did housework and chores.

First grade was more of the same, but now we started taking turns reading. I'd read a word, then he would read a word. Later, it was I'd read a paragraph, then he'd read a paragraph. We'd spend a few minutes a day on phonics worksheets, handwriting, and learning numbers, but never more than five or ten minutes at a time for Wil. Our family reading consisted of reading the Bible through from front to back (that also took care of ancient history and sex education!); classics such as Robinson Crusoe which we read in the original, un-edited version and had to use a dictionary to define all the words; and science and history textbooks that I found in various grade levels. (Meanwhile, Shelly was going strong and doing much more in the way of worksheets and workbooks. It was easy for her.) All this time, we had no one to turn to for curriculum advice so I just kept coming up with my own. I used college textbooks, fiction, nonfiction, high school textbooks, magazines, whatever I could get my hands on.

We spent much of our free time from home schooling in ministry. We developed a puppet ministry during the early years of homeschooling. We traveled to local churches, boy scout troops, and nursing homes. The kids were very active and enjoyed doing the puppets. Wil controlled the sound for us as well as doing puppets. He also got interested in computer graphics making posters, signs, brochures, newsletters, etc. which eventually led to his life career. Shelly loves art so she created the costumes, painted stage decor and scenery. She still does art today and has sold a number of pieces. Doesn't she look like an artist?

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Here is a photo of one of her works of art (she likes modern art) and her photo.

By age 9, Wil still could not read above a first grade level. I tested Shelly and Wil's reading speed and comprehension (Shelly read at 1200 wpm/94% accurate; Wil read at 240 wpm and 98% accurate). His handwriting was atrocious and math - well that's another story. There were many more tears and I often told my husband I was going to put the kids back in school. He would respond by saying, “Ok, go find a school you like and we'll put them in.” After searching, I would always get inspired to home school another year!

By now, Wil had managed to learn numbers, counting, and how to add and subtract very simple facts, but that was about it. We never used history or science or grammar textbooks. We simply read real books for those subjects and used our handwriting practice to teach a minimal amount of mechanics (capitals, punctuation). My goal was simply to get him to read, be able to fill out a form, and at least do basic arithmetic. I thought if I could get him to do that, then the rest would follow. I did some IOWA testing on my own just to see how they were doing and Wil tested out good in everything but reading and math. Shelly tested out great in everything.

That summer, we zeroed in on learning multiplication tables. All of a sudden, it seemed like a light bulb went on for Wil! Between 9-1/2 and 10, he began to catch up. He was reading simple books and arithmetic became a little easier. Writing was still a chore, but he had learned enough to fill out a form!

I taught them both to type at an early age - somewhere between 8 and 9. We got our first computer - an Apple 2e and they both learned to type on it. Most of their writing assignments (other than penmanship) was done on the computer. It helped them both to be much more creative and more willing to write. To teach them to type, I put masking tape over the keys so they couldn't see the letters. We used an old typing textbook for lessons. By high school, they were both champion typists!

We moved to Virginia in 1986, Wil's 4th grade, and finally found a support group; but, since we were only going to be there two years (ended up being three), we still home schooled undercover. In 6th grade, we got our first real textbook in which we actually worked all way through - Saxon 7/6. They had just published it. There were no lower grades at this time, so I bought it with the idea that we would take two years to do it. Wil had not be able to use a textbook for math before this (other than bits and pieces here and there and in very small doses). Shelly had been doing some A Beka math, but it was beginning to overwhelm her, too, so we switched to Saxon. By this time, both of them were in the same level at school. I bought Bob Jones literature (several books at once - 5th and 6th grade) and we devoured them together. We cried, laughed, and enjoyed them so much. Unfortunately, they have since taken out all the good stories and replaced them with modern stories. (Get the 90's versions for some good reading!). I had each child keep a diary in which they journaled every day. This was handwriting practice. Shelly still keeps hers today. I bought Bob Jones history and science (no teacher's manuals or tests) which we read together and did most of the worksheets out of the student manuals. We did lots of lab work - dissecting, building volcanoes, tested our blood, did fingerprinting, and whatever else we could come up with. Chemicals were hard to find so we had to order them through Teen Challenge. We never could find a good microscope so we used Astroslides (don't see them around anymore). We did a lot of maps. We still did not use a grammar textbook. This was also the time we traveled each summer around the country doing puppet shows for a ministry in Indiana. That was quite an adventure and a book in itself!

We moved to Pennsylvania in 1988 in time for 7th grade. God convicted me that we needed to be legal and register with the school. What a state to decide to do that in! It was not yet legal in Pennsylvania and very few were homeschooling there without problems. My husband was working for Teen Challenge in Rehresburg, PA, and several of the staff there had been wanting to home school. When I got there, they said, “You can't home school here.” I said, “Just watch me.” I sat down and wrote up a curriculum plan based on my eclectic curriculum and a letter that stated my rights to homeschool and marched into the superintendent's office. I informed him that I was going to home school my children and here were my documents. He said “ok,” informed me of the portfolio, evaluator, and testing requirements, and I walked out. Within the week, several other families from Teen Challenge also decided to home school and thus began my first home school support group which I called Mom's Night Out.

During the time I was in Pennsylvania, Dr. Richmond was instrumental in getting more home-school friendly laws passed, but I believe it is still a difficult state to home school in. Dr. Richmond was my evaluator so he knew the value of creating curriculum to suit the child. I was allowed to use a variety of methods. I still have the kids' portfolios that were required in Pennsylvania and personally, I think this is the best way to go!

The testing requirement was scary, but by this time, Wil was reading on level (but slow) and doing on-level math. For 7th grade, we started using more textbooks, but still no teacher's manuals or tests (by choice). We used Bob Jones history and science and literature as reading; Saxon math, and Spenserian penmanship. Wil wanted to write “perfect!” He did well with it, but like me, will never really write pretty! It actually hurts us to write so that is why I am sympathetic to kids who have trouble with the process of hand writing.

It was during this time that Shelly decided she wanted to go back to school. She pleaded and begged, but Bill and I felt that she needed to stay home. She was going through a very rebellious period in her life and the thought of her in school made us decide that it was not a wise idea. There were no school around that I thought would suit, either. Military school would have been appropriate!

Because we were living in the rural part of PA, it took a lot of effort to give the kids extracurricular and social activities. Sports involved a 30 minute drive to gymnastic lessons with one other home school family and another 30 minute drive in another direction for art lessons with another homeschool family, making a triangle trip! We did this on Fridays as well as run errands. Wil took piano lessons; Shelly flute and guitar. We were involved in church activities and youth group for social functions. Every year, our family and a few friends, would provide the children's ministry for Teen Challenges' summer festival. Here is Wil running camera's for one of the festivals (probably 1989) and his wedding photo in 2003.

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In 1991 (9th grade), we moved to Oklahoma. Our high school years were in a very home-school friendly state. We never registered as it was not required. Bill and I had no idea we would home school all the way through 12th grade when we started; but, by now, it was working so well that we couldn't quit. We were using more curriculum, and the kids were mostly working on their own. We managed to get through Algebra 1/2; then we concentrated on business math and consumer math. We tried using A Beka videos for history and science - that was a disaster. We went back to Bob Jones history and science (up through Biology) and just read the book and completed the student workbook. They kids did lots of reading (including business books, leadership books, college textbooks, ministry books, and classics), creative writing, and lab work. I gave them one solid year of grammar and that was that.

Both kids got involved in volunteer work in Oklahoma, too - here it was bus ministry. They were also involved in youth group activities, music lessons, and art lessons. Wil got an internship in the TV Department at our church and eventually was hired by them to do the animations for CandyLand videos and their other TV movies (Gospel Bill).

Academics were no longer a problem. Both were doing exceptionally well. At age 15, Wil was accepted as a concurrent enrollment student at ORU; but, after getting a 4.0 his first semester, he decided that college wasn't for him. He wanted to do computer graphics and start his own business. Both went to Bible school for a year after graduation. Then Wil was hired by a local video company to do animations at a very good income. He owned his own home at age 23 and all looked well.

Meanwhile, Shelly graduated a year early. She had also completed a dual enrollment with the local technical college and received her Medical Technician certification. She was immediately hired by a local hand surgeon as a Medical Technician. She enrolled part time at the local junior college and received her tuition paid since her grades were so good. She then spent a few years trying to “find herself.”

I think she really wanted to be married and have a family, but that was not working out as planned. So, she decided to quit her job, quit college, and go to beauty school. She spent a year at that, quit, and then took a job as a waitress. My daughter is a people person, a night owl, and loves the restaurant business. That's her specialty and she's very good at it. Would I have chosen that for her? No. But, she's happy and that's what is important. God can use us no matter where we work.

During this time, Wil married and adopted his wife's child. I was excited to be an instant grammy and had enormous amounts of fun taking her places, teaching her, and doing all kinds of fun things together. But the marriage turned out to be a tragic mistake. Wil and his wife are now in the middle of a divorce, so that does not have a happy ending.

It took me a long time to accept the fact that my kids did not turn out perfect! I imagined that if I homeschooled, my kids would be successful, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. When that did not happen, I gave up on my vision for home schooling for a few years. How could I tell others how to home school when I felt like I was a failure?

But, eventually, God showed me the error of my thinking; so I picked myself up, dusted off my school books, and recommitted myself to serving God for the rest of my life, regardless of my feelings of success or failure in homeschooling. Maybe others can learn from my mistakes!

Last summer, I felt that God was telling me to go back and finish my degree. Shelly wanted to go, too, so we are both back in college together which is really fun! We get together after class, have coffee, and discuss our classes and teachers. We talk about personal stuff, church, God, and politics. We don't always agree, but as we talk, we learn things about each other that we didn't know before and begin to understand each other better. I've learned as much from Shelly about her generation as she has from me about mine. She also told me that she is GLAD that I homeschooled her and said, “Imagine how much trouble I would have gotten into had you not!” We are learning to accept each other for who we are, not who we wish we were.

It's also become a time of later-in-life successes! Both Shelly and I are doing well in college and both of us have been inducted into Phi Theta Kappa! Who knows where we will go from here!

So, we are a normal family with trials and tribulations. Our homeschooling was successful in that both were well educated and have the ability to make a good living for themselves. They are probably not going to be lawyers or doctors or senators, but they do enjoy the work that they do and the friends that they have. And we enjoy each other.

Would I do anything different?

My kids both say they have no regrets being home schooled. Both are extremely well educated and very competent at what they do. They test high on IQ tests, the are successful in whatever business they choose to be in, hard-working, think for themselves, possess great leadership skills, and continue to learn on their own whenever the need arises. Their bosses love them and they are always rewarded financially because of it. Employers have bent over backwards to keep both of our children as their employees. Socially, they both have lots of friends and do well in any social setting.

I believe that happened because we allowed them to focus on their particular skills and talents, rather than forcing them to conform to what others thought they should be taught. We taught them to think for themselves (oh do they!) and we taught them that in order to have friends that have to be a friend.

If I did change anything, it would be:

1st: I would remember that I don't know all the answers. I think the biggest change from my years of homeschooling was changes in myself. God used homeschooling as a training ground for me to become more like Him. It was a painful process but well worth it. I now know how little I really do know and that I have a lot more to learn. I am much more teachable.

2nd: I would not be so rigid. I would show my children the love of God as much as the rules of God. Coming from an abusive, dysfunctional home, I wanted to protect them from all that I experienced. I kept them sheltered from that kind of life including TV, movies, friends, music, even limited their being around our own relatives. My kids had no idea what the world was like and I think that it made them easier targets. In addition, I was a perfectionist and expected perfection out of them. It took me many years to realize that there is no one perfect, that encouragement works better than picking at faults, and that love covers a multitude of sins.

3rd: Educationally, there is not much I would do different. However, I would spend more time teaching my kids to defend their faith (a course in apologetics) and probably spend more time on learning from life and real books. Not that I have a problem with curriculum when it's needed, but real life is a better teacher. There are so many wonderful resources available today that there is no excuse to using uninspiring textbooks. I would also keep asking myself, “Since I only have so much time in a day, what's the most important thing I can teach my children today? What will really make a difference in their life?”

4th: I would learn to leave the results to God sooner. I spent too much time trying to fix things after my children left home. There comes a time when you have to step back and say to your kids, “You are not my responsibility anymore. Instead, you are my brother or sister in Christ. I will pray for you. I will encourage you. I will love you. I will treat you as I do any other brother or sister in the Lord. But you are now responsible for your own decisions.” And then you have to let it go and let God. We all have regrets. We all make mistakes. And sometimes what looks like a mistake to you may be God's plan. God is still in the business of forgiving our mistakes and turning ALL things for His good!

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